The Heart Of Life
by twiradical
Summary: Hi. It's me, Bella Swan again. I'm seventeen now, and Alex is three. The new boy at school is a jerk to everyone, so it doesn't bother me. What does start to bother me is when he thinks he's got me and my baby all figured out. I. Don't. Think. So. AH
1. 0: Preface

_**A/N: **__This literally came to me in the middle of grocery shopping today. I thought about if I had a kid if I was fourteen and wouldn't care if people saw me with my own child. Weird, I know. I just had to try and write it out. _

_They're all yours Stephenie Meyer.  
_

* * *

_Pain throws your heart to the ground_

_Love turns the whole things around_

_No it won't all go the way it should_

_But, I know the heart of life is good_

_**The Heart of Life ~John Mayer**_

**. Preface . Today .**

_**~Bella Swan**_

If you waste your time regretting and worrying over things that have happened, could have happened, or should have happened, then you can basically say that your life is over. Because, _damn it,_ you know what? There aren't enough breaths, hours, days, months, or years left in you every time you do that. You have to learn to accept these things as they come, and cherish those fine moments, good or bad. It's time to live in the moment, and stop regretting and worrying. Don't take life so seriously, because in the end, no one gets out alive. Just Relax. Just Smile.

•·.·´¯`·.·•

**Monday. May. 2. 2005.**

Today I found out I was pregnant.

1 month 3 weeks and 4 days ago, I woke up disorientated and covered with bruises in a hospital bed.

1 month and 2 weeks ago, I remember overhearing the doctor informing my parents about my rape.

1 month 1 week and 6 days ago, I found out I _was _raped.

1 month 4 weeks and –half a day ago, I went shopping in the mall with my friends.

1 month 4 weeks and –half a day ago, I went to the restroom in the mall. Alone.

1 month 4 weeks and –half a day ago, I was raped. In a stall. In ten minutes.

Scared, alone, and broken. In those ten minutes my life had ended and begun.

Three days ago, my rapist was arrested for 2 other rapes.

But I still feel scared and broken. Not alone anymore, I have my parents with me. They understand. They're the only security I know now. But as I'm lying alone in my bed tonight, my blanket and hands covering my flat stomach unsurely, my lower lip trembling; I let the tears fall silently. I make no noises, because I have to be strong. That's the only way I'll be able to do this. I have my parents. There is no need for me to feel alone.

Hi. My name is Isabella Marie Swan, but you can just call me Bella. I live in the heat of Phoenix, Arizona but I'm moving with my parents to Forks, Washington. I'm unsure exactly where that is though. My father, Charlie, was asked to join the Forks Police Force and fill in the position as Chief. He wasn't going to accept before, because he was relatively satisfied with his job as Chief of Police here in my town in Phoenix. But then circumstances changed; things changed. Now we're moving.

I'm going to take you on the journey that many people don't get the pleasure of ever going on. The journey of my life. The life of ups and downs, crossroads, and bumps. Because of that day that was 1 month 4 weeks and –half a day ago, but I'm not going to bother worrying or regretting over what happened, could have happened, or should have happened. I'm going to live in the moment and just smile.

Tonight I fell asleep with a smile, my arms and hands still tightly and unsurely wrapped around my torso and flat stomach.

•·.·´¯`·.·•

**Monday. May. 9. 2005.**

. . . Hi. I'm Bella. And I'm fourteen. I'm scared and broken and I'm sitting in the airplane with my parents, on our way to our new life.

Last week I found out I was pregnant.

* * *

**A/N: **_So. . . what do you think? If you're interested in this story then you can PM and I can tell where I MIGHT be going with this story. I still have The Axe Murderer's Girl to write simultaneously._ _And just so you know, don't cuss me out if it wasn't the day of the week doesn't correspond with the number of the date. . . Fiction, fiction, fiction remember._


	2. 1: Bright Shining One

**.Chapter One. Bright Shining One .**

_**~Bella Swan**_

_Green. Trees. Green. Green. Green. Trees. Green. Trees_. In that order. That's all I saw as I looked out the window of the moving truck. Dad sold almost everything we had in Phoenix, including our car. He said something about loads of money to buy another car, not that I was really paying attention.

The three of us were able to squish into the two passenger front seat of the cab, because I was still small enough to not take up too much room, and mom wasn't fat per se.

I couldn't see the appeal of civilization in this small town. In the last hour that we had driven past the Seattle city limits and into Forks all I saw was green, green, green, and then the one or two small variety stores and small boutiques. But those were at least each fifteen minutes away from each other. And in the middle all there was green, trees, and more green trees.

The engine of the moving truck cutting pulled me out of my thoughts of distaste for Forks. I looked out the window at my new home, and I was surprised to say that it looked better than my old one. It seemed to be more low high class, and I was happy that we'd have a little more than a decent house to live in.

I carefully slid out of the passenger side of the truck with my mom behind me and my dad out of the other side of the moving truck.

"Isn't this house just wonderful? It's one of the best in this town," mom said proudly.

I tore my eyes away from the house and smiled small at my mom, "Yeah, it is pretty great."

"Alright, let's bring some of our light weight stuff in and leave the rest to the movers," dad said as he unlocked the back doors of the truck and started piling out the different size boxes that held our belongings.

It took us about a half hour to unload all the things that we were able to carry. I didn't get a chance to get a good look around the house yet, so when I was finished putting all my stuff in my new room, I gave my room the once over.

It wasn't dramatically huge but it would suffice. It was fairly larger than my old room but that was when only my room. Soon there would be two people sharing this room, not just me.

I softly patted my stomach in remembrance of who was in here now. My stomach was still really flat, and no body would be able to tell that I was pregnant or anything, but I could feel myself getting attached to my little Ellie. I didn't want to refer to my baby as 'it' because it made it look like my baby was something insignificant, and I wouldn't let that flow. So I googled nicknames for babies and their meanings, and it took me a while to surf through the hundreds of names, but when I saw the definition, _bright shining one_ for Ellie that was the nickname I picked for now.

"Bella, come look at the kitchen. Oh, all the things we can cook!" I raced down the stairs and my mouth dropped open at the kitchen. It. Was. Awesome.

"Oh my god… are you sure this is our kitchen?" I heard dad chuckle behind me but I didn't pay him any mind.

Mom giggled, "Yes this is ours. Now come on and look at everything else." I followed her around the house and the house was actually way better than I originally thought it would be.

-.*.-

It was around six, and my stomach started groaning for food. I felt a small twist in my stomach that made me grimace. "Oh shoot, I'll go pick up some food at the local diner." Dad smiled apologetically to me before dashing out the door.

Mom smiled softly at me when we heard the moving truck chugging down the driveway and onto the street. I looked at her incredulously, "He's really going to get us food in the moving truck?"

She laid her hand on my shoulder that was just as soft as her smile. "Bella, your dad is taking i- Ellie very seriously, and he wants everything to run smoothly for you." Her expression turned thoughtful then. "And besides, he's going to be a grandpa, of course he has a lot of responsibility on his shoulders now… so do you."

I looked at her confused, "Ellie isn't even born yet, what responsibility do I have?"

"Bella, Ellie is a part of you, everything thing you do your baby will be affected by it. Whatever you eat-your baby eats, wherever you go-your baby goes with you, whatever you breathe in, even smoke-your baby inhales. Being pregnant isn't easy; everything you do for the next nine months will affect you and your baby. You have to put Ellie first now, and yourself second. That's how it's going to be from now on."

I stared at her blankly for a minute, before nodding slowly. Wow. That was a lot of responsibility. Even for me. Mom must have seen the shock and fear on my face. "Bella, just because you have an extra responsibility on your shoulders now doesn't mean you can't enjoy it. Being pregnant is one of the best things that can happen in a woman's life."

I stared at her again for a moment before offering her a small smile and excusing myself to go unpack some clean pajamas I could change into. As I walked up the stairs I mulled over all the things mom told me. I never really looked at things the way mom explained it to me. For instance, in movies, women had crazy cravings in the middle of the night, threw up because of morning sickness and then the nine months zoom quickly past and the next thing you know they're giving birth to a cute little baby.

I guess I never really thought about all the in-between stuff, like eating healthy and not over exerting myself with things. Mom's words just made me realize that I still had a lot to learn in these nine months in order to give my baby a better life.

-.*.-

After a quiet and hunger satisfying dinner, my dad blew up two air mattresses for us to sleep on. I decided I wanted to sleep in my own room tonight, so I hauled the huge—but light—mattress up the stairs and into my new room.

I was extremely tired at this point with the whole move so I brushed my teeth and went to the washroom quickly before taking a blanket out one of the many boxes in my room (good thing I labeled them) and snuggled into the cold and jumpy mattress.

It took me a few tries to get comfortable on the bed, which was pretty difficult because the mattress kept on slipping under me. After a moment, I finally settled into a good position for sleep and the thoughts of Ellie and my many responsibilities finally weighed me into slumber.

-.*.-

**A/N: **_Just so you guys know chapter will not be known to be very long. Probably the size of this chapter or maybe larger depending on what's happening in the story._

_**I WILL be continuing The Axe Murderer's Girl. I promise.**_


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